In my search toward a deeper knowing of God, I asked my Husband why he loves his kids. His answer, “I can’t imagine doing anything else.”
“God, who made the world and everything in it…” This verse poured over the grounds of my mind and filled my cup with comprehension. The richness of it pointed to a God who stands alone. He doesn’t reside in temples. He’s not worshiped with hands. He needs nothing. From one blood, He made every person in the hope that they might find Him, though He isn’t far from anyone.
You know what my favorite words are in this drink? “…in the hope that they might find Him.” This is the sweetener I was looking for—the reason I am here: His desire to be with me. His want of me breaks every unsolvable gate and bar between us. The singleness of God desires unity—with me. From the moment I quickened in His imagination I haven’t left His thoughts.
But a God who reigns in Spirit can not laugh with a child whose own lay lifeless. So from the beginning He has been in pursuit of my soul—the woman I was created to be. From my demise in the garden, through the sands of Sinai, among the rebuff of Bethlehem, and the goblet of Gethsemane, I have been the apple of His eye.
I should have known. The path has always been worn ahead of me. The view has never lived up to the dream. Despite my gasp for more air there is a lucidity to let go.
“Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” Song of Songs 2:10
In the deep of me is an appetite that loathes the idea of one more slice of bread, or one more cup of water. It spits out duplicity and searches a flavor from another tongue.
I walk through my days chasing idols that pump my blood yet never increase my soul rate. Until…Your lips touch mine and deep calls unto deep and the ripple of Your waterfalls and waves go over me. And we commune.
God revives what died in the garden. My spirit. Ever since I walked out He’s been orchestrating our reunion. A better one. The one who left Him died on the cross. The one He proposed to is raised from the dead.
“The life I now live, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
God’s desire fulfilled…I believe His love. Not because I deserve too or even sought too. But because the heat of His Holy Spirit never quit calling, and the empty thirsty part of me said, “Yes.”
“We love Him, because He first loved us.”