My whole life I wanted to be someone else.
I’m taking pictures of myself for a project I’m working on. Picking myself apart in all of them. My chin and neck are sagging, tiny wrinkles ripple across my face, a deep line labels my forehead. Hide those elbows, they’re starting to dimple. I found an editing tool on my computer that corrects unwanted marks on my face leaving me like one big blur. I was in tears last night because I couldn’t choose ten pictures out of four-hundred I’d care to face everyday for the next year.
But it’s me. I’ve changed.
Don’t tighten the rest that’s come to your face. Don’t hide your imperfections so others will do the same and we’ll never really see anyone.
Day 6 and 7
Photographs capture feelings. Making old friends new over pizza. One-year-olds blowing kisses until their hand slurps spit. Martin singing the sounds of my name. Naps. How sudsy water makes windows sparkle. How hearing about God’s love makes eyes water. Having windows open all day and night. It’s hard to pray
—it’s painful not to.
Praying: May I not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteousness judgement.